Friday, July 30, 2004

Letter to President Bush

Dear President Bush,

I realize that you're a very busy man, but I have a solution to many of the world's problems, you see, and since you seem to be so interested in solving the world's problems, let me point out a key area in which you could do positive work and kill a thousand birds with one stone.

End foreign aid to everyone.

End foreign aid to Israel. End foreign aid to Arafat. End foreign aid to Africa. End foreign aid to everyone.

You might be surprised to hear this coming from an orthodox Jew, given how addicted many of us are to the welfare doles.

Foreign aid does not help poor people anywhere. It simply takes money from poor people here in the US and gives it to rich dictators and other statist-types abroad. It is a totally unnecessary drain on our domestic economy, and it is immoral. A person in Nebraska should not be expected to shell out money that will be spent by a the prime minister of Pakistan.

It will help Israel, and I know you want to help Israel. After all, you're a good Christian who's waiting for what's his name to come back from the dead, and I know many Christians like yourself are just waiting for all of us to get back to Israel so we can all be slaughtered for our disbelief in your man on the stick. Anyhoo, I know you want to help Israel, and the best way to help Israel is to starve its government out of its socialist mindset. The only reason the state of Israel is able to have so many absolutely useless government programs (which, by the way, is the primary reason their economy is in the tank) is because of US funneling money to prop it up. End the aid, and aid the economic suffering of the Israeli citizens. If you end the aid, the government will be forced to become less socialist, which will have a harmonizing effect on the citizenry, as the religious and secular will no longer be competing for government funds once the government realizes it has to tax its citizens less.

In fact, this is really the only way you can help Israel. Back out of Middle East affairs entirely. The US invasion of Iraq is counter-productive for Israel's security, as it has only inflamed hatred of the Jews over there. Thanks. We appreciate that, but sooner or later, the majority of people over there will come to regret their appreciation.

Best wishes,

Yid

PS. Many other Orthodox Jews will object to this. Ignore them. They are simply socialists of a different color, and they don't realize the damage they are causing to themselves, their own station in life, and to others.

PPS. Taking advice from Bono was really dumb. You should admit this publically and beg forgiveness, sir.

7 Comments:

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